


Tyler's Not Gay

by ArchangelRoman



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Or doesnt want to be, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Tylers not gay, latenight, or whatever, unbetad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:16:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27816682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchangelRoman/pseuds/ArchangelRoman
Summary: Maybe it’s the adrenaline, maybe it’s the sun, but when Jeremy leans down with a determined air and smacks his lips to Tyler’s, he lets him. The kiss lasts all of five seconds before Tyler has a moment to realize that this was Jeremy and, and...
Relationships: Jeremy Gilbert/Tyler Lockwood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Tyler's Not Gay

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The thunderstorm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/380064) by [pleasebekidding](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasebekidding/pseuds/pleasebekidding). 



> I guess I wanted more Jeremy/Tyler, so I did it myself.
> 
> The timeline is not accurate.

Tyler was young when Jeremy first kissed him, but it was an accident. They were playing tag in the backyard with Matt while Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline were off in the corner pretending they were too mature for the game, even though their eyes kept drifting to the boys. 

It happened like this: Matt was it when he went to go talk to Elena, but Tyler was boundless energy and impatient to get the game moving. It was Tyler who told Matt to tag him so he could continue the game, and honestly catching Jeremy shouldn’t be that hard. Matt distractedly tagged Tyler and then it was on. 

Tyler locked eyes with Jeremy across the yard, holding the “it” power and taunted the younger Gilbert sibling. Already a good distance away, Jeremy hopped the short fence and tore off into the woods, Lockwood following shortly after. Both of them ignored the protestations from the rest. 

Jeremy had gotten quicker-- had been playing at least a few times a week and learned how to duck and weave through the forest, but Tyler had endurance. Jeremy got into the woods fast but his breathing was loud and he was already slowing down. 

Tyler saw his chance, lunged, and they both went down over a covered root. They rolled and somehow Jeremy landed on top of Tyler with Tyler grabbing Jeremy’s hip on instinct to keep them from rolling once more, both boys breathing hard and laughing, but neither of them moved while they caught their breath. When Tyler looked up, Jeremy wasn’t all smiles anymore and looked a little nervous. Gilbert shifted, but it felt... intentional. 

They landed in a spot of sunshine peeking through the branches above, casting Jeremy’s features into a dark shadow, but that’s okay. Reading Jeremy was easy, nervous and anxious emotions all on his face but Tyler swallowed, nervous himself. Tyler did not let himself breathe too much, not willing to break this little spell, whatever it is. Worried that if he even twitched a finger of the hand that’d settled on Jeremy’s hip when they had fell that this piece of a moment would fade. 

It might have been the adrenaline, it might have been the sun, but when Jeremy leaned down with a determined air and smacked his lips to Tyler’s, he let him. The kiss lasted the _longest_ three seconds before Tyler had a moment to realize that this was Jeremy and, and... 

“Tyler?! Jeremy?!” 

Matt's call was like a dark cloud of reality, drenching this sweet little sun-bathed spot and transforming it into a cold place. Tyler snapped back to his senses and pushed to his feet just as Matt stepped into view. Fear gripped Tyler—he and Jeremy were standing _pretty_ close-- and so he pushed Jeremy with all the force he could, wiped his lips as if he could wipe away evidence. “What is _wrong_ with you?!” 

Jeremy hit the ground stunned, wide-eyed and uncomfortable for reasons he couldn't name, doesn’t have a response to Tyler’s sudden anger. 

“Oh, there you guys are," Matt stopped a few paces away, taking in the sight before him, the weirdness of it but unable to name it. "What’s going on?” 

“Jeremy!” Tyler accused, no explanation required. 

Silence rang out in their little clearing; Matt confused and assessing, Tyler confused and defensive, and poor Jeremy just as confused as the rest while just as vulnerable as all outdoors. 

Jeremy didn’t talk to Tyler for a while and before he knew it, years had passed. 

~*~

When his parents forced him and Elena to some sort of function at the Lockwood Mansion, Jeremy sat at a table and watched as the kids played tag. The only one who had noticed his lack of participation was a sweaty, wide-eyed Matt. 

“Hey, Jer! You don’t wanna play?” 

Of course, Jeremy wanted to play. It was torture sitting there and behaving like a founding family member. Jer had let his eyes roam the field, looking at all the kids grouped together because Matt was so far. Tyler wasn’t with them. “I’m okay, thanks.” 

However, Matt insisted. He’d reached out and smacked Jeremy, “You’re it!” then he took off. 

Easily goaded, Jeremy shot off after him. Neither boy noticed Tyler watching from the edge of the house. 

The game lasted a while, even getting the girls to join in for a time. Then the sun started setting, the crowd thinned out and few remained. 

“I don’t wanna play anymore,” Caroline had announced and grabbed Bonnie and Elena’s hands and dragged them away. 

Then Mrs. Donovan stumbled over and told Matt they were going home so that left Jeremy all on his own to wander the Lockwood mansion out of boredom whilst his parents and the other adults ‘attended to founding family business.’ 

“What are you doing here?” 

Jeremy turned and there was Tyler, dressed smoothly from head-to-toe like the rest of them. Only, unlike the rest of them, he wasn’t missing his jacket and it doesn’t look like he’d been having fun. 

“Didn’t see you in the game. Get lost in the woods again?” Jeremy joked. 

Tyler eyed him suspiciously and Jeremy is taken back to a few years ago and the forest and he could kick himself. That was not what he meant. Before he could open his mouth to explain, Tyler just shrugged. 

“Where is everyone?” Tyler asked. 

“Well, Matt had to go home, our parents are talking and I think Caroline, Elena, and Bonnie are trying to have a sleep over.” Jeremy explained, to which Tyler just nodded. Jeremy couldn’t take the silence much longer. Curiosity got the best of him. “Where were you earlier?” 

Tyler narrowed his eyes. “Why do you care? You were having fun with Matt.” 

“I… huh?” 

“Nothing, Jeremy.” 

More silence. Neither of them knew what to do nor could either of them can explain why they were just standing in the middle of the hall, not speaking. 

“Alright, well…” Jeremy throws a thumb over his shoulder, not even sure what’s back there but if Tyler doesn’t want to talk, then there were things to snoop. 

“You’re leaving?” 

Jeremy shrugged, unsure. “Nothing else to do.” 

“We could play games?” Tyler suggested without meeting Jeremy’s eyes. 

“Sure.” 

*

They are in Tyler’s room, ties undone and Jeremy’s jacket thrown over Tyler’s desk chair where Jeremy was sitting whilst Tyler occupied the bed. After Jeremy complaining that they’d get further in the level if he could see better, Tyler invited him over to the bed, “but take off your shoes.” 

Jeremy hadn’t thought too much of the shift, geared into the game but Tyler kept dying and when Jeremy looked over to see what the problem was, he found Tyler watching him. 

“What?” Jeremy asked a bit defensively. 

“Do you like Matt?” 

“…what?” 

“Nothing. Never mind.” Tyler replied hastily, killed two more monsters with his eyes fixed to the screen. 

After a beat, Jeremy paused the game and put the controller down. “No, not this time. You always do that! Dude! Just. Tell. Me!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, _Jeremy!_ I’m not doing anything! I’m not the one who’s having fun with _Matt,_ am I?!” 

“It’s a game, Tyler! Everyone can play! It’s not my fault you’re too much of a pussy to—” 

Tyler shoved him off the bed.

“Don’t say that!” 

When the younger boy arose, he didn’t know how to respond at first. After a few heartbeats and Tyler’s confrontational eye, he pushed back. 

The boys ended up fighting again, only ending when Elena came rushing in followed by Bonnie and Caroline. 

“What is _wrong_ with you, Tyler?” Elena had accused, no explanation required. 

“It was _Jeremy!”_

“Oh please, Tyler! You’re always acting like such a little jerk! Just wait until I tell Mr. Lockwood!” 

Jeremy was pulled from the room so quick he never got his jacket. 

Bonnie followed immediately after and Caroline lingered to give Tyler an assessing look, as if she sees the fear but can’t quite understand that its actually terror, or why it has Tyler’s face suddenly looking so pale; as if she can almost see Tyler’s thoughts and the path of pain his mind is cruising down. 

“What?!” he snaps at her and she frowns, resolved. Walks out. 

Tyler is alone in his room with his impending fate and Jeremy’s jacket for company. 

~*~

The next time Jeremy sees Tyler, they are passing one another in town with their families. Tyler is with his father and is intent on not meeting Jeremy’s eyes, but as they enter the grill, the reflection of dark-yellow swelling around Ty’s eye is all he thinks about for the rest of the day. 

It’s going to be a bright, beautiful summer. 

~*~ 

Jeremy’s parents die over the summer and his world dims. 

Talking doesn’t work, not that he bothers. Everyone already thinks they know what he’s going through. How a bright and steady young boy should be feeling. All the comments sound the same and are all met with the same unimpressed, blank-look of a response. 

Elena is handling the oncome of lifetime associates with as much grace as their mother and it pisses him off. 

Later that night he walks through the woods, silently seething. When he happens upon a group of kids sitting in a cloud of smoke, that pisses him off and he starts to turn away. 

“Hey, Jeremy!” 

Jeremy silently hopes that the kid has something stupid to say—something that will justify Jeremy punching him in the face. That’s the reason Jeremy stops and waits for his approach. 

“Hey, uhh... Sorry about your folks.” 

It's not the kid’s fault Jeremy has heard that over fifty times by now, the faces of those people as meaningless as this conversation. 

The silence stretches on and the kid rubs his neck. “Wanna smoke? Helps you forget stuff.” 

So, Jeremy joins the circle. 

He smokes. 

He doesn’t forget, but the memories get a little hazy around the edges. A little more disoriented. Another puff tells him it's more a concept than a reality. Before he knows it, he feels like he can breathe again when his mind drifts somewhere up and up. It’s the best thing he’s felt since... 

* 

Chasing that escape is no biggie. Jeremy joins the next circle, and then the next. 

After that he starts acquiring his own. No more circles. A secluded part of the forest and his pipe is all he wants, if he can help it. 

Elena and Aunt Jenna don’t question his late-night-or-early-morning entrance the first time it happens, or the second. Or the week after that, or after that. Jeremy gets his space and it's an easy cycle to fall into; a good way to spend the summer days. 

One of those days-turning-night he wanders on a high. No particular destination in mind, just picking through the forest with some music blaring from his headphones. With so much time spent here lately it feels like a second home. 

A shadow catches his eye and he whips off his headphones and turns around. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

Jeremy hazily looks up to find Tyler standing there at the edge of the woods. It would be weird, but Jeremy then looks around and realizes he’d actually somehow wandered his way straight to Tyler’s backyard. He answers with a shrug, “Just chilling.” 

Tyler doesn’t look very impressed with the goofy smile Jeremy is giving him and it only makes Jeremy grin lopsided. “...are you high?” 

“Are you high?” Jeremy mocks and he didn’t mean too, it was just too funny! 

Confronted with Tyler’s current expression somehow bulldozes right through the pleasant haze and lifts it to reveal a similar expression a couple of years back, right after... but before... and suddenly things aren’t so funny anymore. 

Jeremy realizes that this is the first time he’s seen Tyler since the town square. The first time they’ve spoken since their fight. It seems like yesterday and also another lifetime. Tyler’s going through similar things, Jeremy reckons, cause a silence creeps in between the two and settles there. 

Tyler breaks it first, but Jeremy is quicker. 

“I’m sor--” 

“--don’t.” 

Tyler might be puzzled but Jeremy isn’t looking, because he’s searching for his stash. Wasn’t it just in his pocket? Tyler’s talking and Jeremy hears him, but he’s not listening because he swears, he just had it! Fuck! Maybe it dropped in the woods when Jeremy tried to climb that tree and—fuck it, Jeremy’s on the verge of asking Tyler for a flashlight to go look when he catches the tail end of whatever he was saying. 

“...besides, fathers aren’t so great. You’ll probably be better off anyway. Dude, what’re you looking for?” 

“What...?” 

“I said what’re you looking--” 

“Before that!” 

Tyler shrugs, eyes clouded over with something Jeremy’s own anger can’t decipher. “I said it’s not too bad. Fathers suck anyway. Dude, what the hell?! Get off me!” 

Jeremy has never been an aggressive kid, per say. Never one to provoke a situation or lay hands on someone unnecessarily. Though in front of a judge, the mayor, or even God himself Jeremy would say that this time it was deserved. 

It didn’t last long in favor of Jeremy. His tackle managed to catch Tyler off guard was the only upper hand, but Tyler is still older and stronger—and in wrestling—so he flips them and pins Jeremy pretty easily. 

But Tyler doesn’t really want to hurt Jeremy. And he’s not so much of a jerk that he would kick someone going through what Jeremy seems to be going through so he gets up and backs off, still tensed for further defense. “Dude, what is wrong with you?!” 

“EVERYTHING!” Jeremy screams from the floor. 

Neither of them was prepared for Jeremy’s outburst. Neither of them knew what to do about the tears welling in Jeremy’s eyes. What is there to do with such a heavy confession? Now that the words out; the damn broken; the river flows with the first drop of Jeremy’s tears. 

“Everything _sucks!”_ Jeremy breathes, just holding back a full-on sob. “Everyone wants to know how I’m doing. You want to know how I am doing, Tyler? I _suck!_ My parents left because of _me!_ My parents just died! _Gone!_ Never coming back! and Elena is too much! She thinks she can be mom, but she _can’t!_ She _sucks!_ And aunt Jenna doesn’t know what _she’s_ doing! She sucks! She doesn’t know how to raise kids and can barely remember to make breakfast—and _YOU!_ You’re such a _jerk!_ All I’ve ever wanted was to be nice to you and you’ve only ever been mean to me and I don’t know why! It’s dark out here and I’m crying in front of a jerk and I can’t find my stash!” 

Tyler doesn’t know what to do, faced with Jeremy’s hysteria. They've always had a relationship, something like heat and energy disguised as rage and manifested through fists. Though as Jeremy gets his breathing back together and they're still just in the dark of the forest, mostly, Tyler _really_ doesn't know what to do with Jeremy's raw hopeful, pleading gaze. Tyler doesn’t know how to help. Doesn't have the words or the emotional tools for this. He feels like a deer in headlights, pinned by the brightness of Jeremy’s glossy eyes. Unable to unlock and move out of the way and let this moment go without some type of resolution. But if he is the deer then the car is Jeremy. Hesitation of moving to safety or facing this collision head-on is understandable, so Jeremy can't make the choice. Because if Jeremy has to swerve around him and wind up getting hurt as a result, well that’s not so understandable. 

How best could Tyler cushion this impact? 

Jeremy’s picked himself up and started looking for his stash in the light of the near full moon and trying his best to ignore Tyler completely. So, it’s a bit of a surprise when he’s looking for the lighter and hears the flick of one come from behind him. 

There is no dignity left to save for either of them. So, Jeremy just takes it from his hand to light his joint, but the contact is Tyler’s metaphorical collision because it hurts, what he has to do next. 

“I’m sorry.” Tyler confesses, to which Jeremy scoffs. Understandable. Annoying, but still. His voice is controlled when he says, “I don’t mean to be a jerk.” 

Jeremy puffs, exhales and says, "Then why are you?" 

Tyler shrugs, “Sometimes it just happens.” 

“Bullshit,” Jeremy calls casually, but he might as well have shouted it with the way Tyler’s brows pinch together and he shoots Jeremy an annoyed look. “It’s happening again,” he says and then checks his nonexistent watch, “and wouldn’t you know it, it is some time.” 

“Oh, for the—just, shut up, will you?!” 

Jeremy concedes with the wave of an arm. Go on. 

This is it. The last moment. Maybe it'll finally be good to breathe. Just as he takes a breath, the back door opens and an adult silhouette is standing there, framed by golden lighting of the house and the porch lights. Paranoid and high, Jeremy’s instinct is to duck behind a tree and put his joint out against it. While the figure swayed back and forth, searching, Jeremy snatched Tyler to his side. 

"Tyler!" 

Tyler must've been spotted because he freezes, rigid with sudden tension. "At least you don't have anyone yelling at you all the time." 

“At least you still have the time,” Jeremy retorts, fingers still gripping. 

Tyler makes a sound that’s half agreement and half uncertainty. His eyes flick down to where Jeremy is holding him until that hand unclenches one finger at a time until he is freed. He doesn’t know how he feels about that, exactly. “You’re weird,” Tyler says, slightly amused considering the situation. Then he marches off with all his resolve for confessions dissolved, but his shoulders are squared for a new conflict. 

"Get inside! Now!" 

Jeremy peeks from behind the tree. He can't help but compare Tyler's current gait to when the schools play last year; where Tyler was a soldier going to war. 

* 

Inside, Tyler tries to hurry to his room without being obvious. What is obvious is that his father is in one of his moods. Again. Must be a day ending in ‘y.’ As in, why of all the fathers in all the world is this the one for him? 

“Was that the Gilbert kid?” 

Richard asks, but it sounds like a ruse to Tyler. He already knows. Tyler slows down, not ignoring his father but not stopping altogether. He plays along, buys some time. Tells his father casually, “Yeah, caught him trying to steal our gnomes.” 

Richard’s tone stops Tyler’s ascent. “You know I don’t like lying in my house, Tyler.” 

“What’s in the cellar, dad?” Tyler knew it was stupid. Goading his father while he could still walk straight never ended well for Tyler, one could guess where the younger Lockwood gets his temper, but the chance to shove hypocrisy in his father’s face occurs too often to ignore sometimes. 

Richard swallows the remainder of his glass far too calmly for the violence Tyler feels he’s about to enact. Just as smoothly as he downed that drink, he tells his son levelly, “You challenging me?” 

If he were older, Tyler would have most definitely said yes. If he had the strength to run away, he’d take his mom and go but, no. “No, sir.” 

Richard grunts, already refilling his glass. “Sometimes I wonder about you, Ty. Come to find out, Elena Gilbert catches you and her brother up in your room alone doing lord knows what. You break up with your little girlfriend and I thought, ‘okay, yeah, she’s a little ditzy. But she’d grow into a fine wife one day.’ Now look at you, sneaking off in the dark with that weird Gilbert kid.” 

“What are you saying, dad?” 

“I’m only saying what I’m seeing, Tyler!” 

“Yeah? Can you say ‘AA’ then? Oh, that’s right, can’t because you’ve never seen your way to a meeting!” 

Tyler was already prepared to duck the glass headed his way, but he forgot to pivot for stray projectiles and had to shake shards of glass out of his shirt while he ran to, and then up the stairs. 

~*~ 

Sometimes, like tonight, sneaking from home and hanging out with Matt helps Tyler forget. They are at Matt’s house playing X-Box and it’s nice. Mrs. Donovan isn’t home and Vicki is at a friend’s so no one is telling them to be quiet or to not eat all the snacks. And despite the late hour, Matt doesn’t complain or ask questions. 

Carol stops by around one-thirty, asks for Tyler when Matt opens the door. 

Like a true hero, no cape, Matt says, “He is not here Mrs. Lockwood.” 

“Is your mother home?” 

“Nope, she isn’t here either. Just me.” 

There’s a pause where they both realize the heaviness of the situation there in, but Matt is levelheaded, if not young, and knows how to hold his ground. In the end, Carol sighs. “If you see Tyler, tell him I’d like him to come home, please.” 

It’s nearly impossible to tell what Matt is thinking when he grabs the door to shut it, “Will do. Have a goodnight Mrs. Lockwood.” He turns to see Tyler coming out of one of the rooms, afraid, as though Matt will force him to answer question or go home. Eventually Matt says, “You can take the couch, I don’t think anyone is coming home.” 

The gratitude that flows from Tyler is easier to ignore when Matt goes to get the blankets. When he comes back, Tyler is already ready for bed, looking comfy on the couch. It's as Matt is heading back to his room that Tyler stops him, “Hey, Matt?” 

Matt stops. “Yeah?” 

“Thanks,” Tyler says, but doesn’t look at his friend. 

“Anytime,” Matt says, and actually means it. 

*

Long after Matt’s soft snores start up, Tyler’s still awake with the company of his thoughts. His mind doesn’t want to rest. This trip to Matt’s didn’t get him to forget the way he thought it would, he only delayed thinking about it and right now that’s all he can do. Think about his father’s words and trying to apply them to everyone in his life that isn’t Jeremy. Think about the wrongness of whatever his relationship with Jeremy is. Thinking about Jeremy whilst trying not to think about Jeremy. 

First of all, Tyler isn’t gay, he thinks. Not that he understands what that means anyways. What does it even mean to be gay? The only references he has have been from glances of previews for T.V. shows and whenever someone gossips about it at school, not that he’s ever paid attention. Tyler isn’t a sissy, nor does he hit on every guy he crosses. Can’t remember any lingering glances in the locker room and make up isn’t for him, thanks. There’s no desire to dress up in women’s clothes, even though he did it that one time when he was younger. he’d take to the grave. Maybe because his father caught him that one time is why he thinks Tyler has special attention for Jer—ah, dudes? Some dudes dress up as girls for Halloween! Are they gay? His father might say yes. 

Thoughts of his father makes it seem as though Tyler might actually be... a fag. As if the girls he’d spoken to or had gotten or given valentines to over the years weren’t enough. As if wrestling, a very manly sport, duh, wasn’t enough. As if being on the football team and showing his opponents what the Lockwood’s were made of, wasn’t enough?! 

It’s not like Tyler’s at Matt’s house right now, thinking about Matt! How Matt’s skin looks smooth like one of those Chinese dolls. Tall and broad shouldered and works out. Some of Tyler’s only competition, really. Matt is one of the only few people that makes Tyler nervous, and no! Not because he’s attracted to Matt! But because Matt is one of the few good-looking dudes around who is intelligent and charming enough to pull someone away from him. Thankfully, Tyler found out a while ago that Matt wasn’t like that. Matt has a good heart and is a good friend. He’d never made fun of Tyler only makes fun with Tyler. If he had to make a bet, Tyler would put forth all his consoles that Matt wouldn’t make fun of him for liking Jeremy. 

Not that he does! Like Jeremy, that is! Jeremy is weird! And he’s young. AND Elena’s brother. Elena, who is cute herself, but Matt likes her and Tyler would do his very best not to cross that bridge. Would Elena care if Tyler liked Jeremy? She is sweet and kind, but Tyler’s seen her make boys his age cry without hitting them. Would she tell Caroline?! Panic seizes Tyler at the mental image. Caroline can’t keep a secret! Not that there’s one to keep! But if Caroline found out then the whole town would know! Tyler would never be able to go back to school! He’d never make another friend again. Richard would disown him! And his mother, bless her, wouldn’t be much help. He wouldn’t put her through the shame of having a faggot for a son. 

All thoughts are on shut down after that. Carol must never know. Richard must never know. Tyler couldn’t be gay; he can’t hurt his family like that. Tyler won’t like dudes or talk to them or hang out with Jeremy. Anything more than strictly necessary is too much of a risk. Forget ALL guys. 

Like a reminder, the sound of a bed creaks from the room and Tyler amends his thoughts with ‘except Matt.’ Because Matt knows Tyler’s not gay. But Matt wouldn’t care, would he? If the creak from the other room sounds suspiciously like a creaking ‘no’ then Tyler puts it up to wishful thinking or a playful deity. Whatever. None of that matters anyway. 

Because Tyler’s Not Gay. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to be really smutty! Alas. 
> 
> Kudos are always appreciated! Comments are always inspiring!


End file.
